The other day I was explaining to my oldest son who plays youth football the implications of not doing well in school. I was pointing out to him that if he does not do well in school it affects his whole football team. This really confused him until I explained. If he does not do well in school, Dad and I will not allow him to go to football practice because school is always first. In tackle football, they will not allow you to play in a game if you have missed a practice during the week. If he cannot play in the game, it does not only affect him negatively, but now his whole team has to play without him. They are relying on him to come through on the field…and off. I will say his attitude changed almost immediately.

On the other hand, he also knows he is not alone. Anyone who has ever played football or known someone who has played football knows they tend to be a very tight knit group. When he is out on that field, every single one of those players and coaches has his back. With that kind of support, you feel like you can take anything down. I watched my 51 pound son this weekend bring down other players almost twice his size.

If my little guy can do that, imagine what you could tackle if you knew you had a team supporting you? I run into people that have debt they are hiding from their spouse, or feel like they should handle it alone, or they are ashamed to share it with others. For all of you that fall into any one of those categories, let me share some information with you:

• In most circumstances, you should not feel like you have to hide your debt from your spouse. (Unless of course you are in extenuating circumstances). However, if you are not, I hope you understand you chose this person to share your life with you. When you said your vows, you were committing yourself to them completely. Take that burden and share it with them, more than likely they will understand, hold your hand and walk side by side with you until you are debt free. Things are probably not nearly as bad as they seem when you have a partner.
• If one spouse pays the bills and the other is not aware of what is going on, start having a weekly meeting of the minds. It is not uncommon to find out the spouse paying the bills is overwhelmed and the one who is not aware is feeling left out in the cold. Communicate! I have always known in my heart that “together” my husband and I can handle anything…hopefully you do to.
• If you feel ashamed, please don’t. Reach out! There are people out there that can help you. If you cannot afford to pay someone, reach out to a trusted friend or relative. Talk to them about being an accountability partner. Sometimes it is just a little support that we need.

You know the situation you are in. You know what solution(s) will work best for you. Reach out and ask for help, you will be amazed at what can transpire when you ask for it.