• Do a core value check – So often we get caught up doing what we are technically good at, we don’t take the time to see if it is in line with what we truly hold near and dear to our hearts.
• Be honest with yourself about what your core values are - It’s okay…some things that you may feel obligated to be on there, may not really be part of your core values.
• Limit yourself to your top 5 core values – Start with 10 and narrow down to your top 5. See how you feel once you have them out there.
• Build your life and your career around those values – If you are feeling totally out of balance, this may be your problem. If you are not holding true to your core values, start to take steps to move your life in that direction. It is amazing the difference you will feel.

There was so much more than that, but those are the heart of the experience. Now, based on that, this is how I have decided to change my life since I returned.

• Focus on me and my business – While I always thought I was taking my business seriously, the Universe certainly did not think so. Hence, I have changed my office hours to reflect how serious I am.
• Make my business my top priority – I will do this by stopping the distractions, prioritizing tasks and focusing my time accordingly. I also had a very serious heart to heart with my husband and each of my boys individually letting them know what is going on and how things would be changing.
• Step up and do what it takes, even if (especially if) it makes me uncomfortable
• Talk to my husband about “mommy guilt” - I know that may seem strange, but as a mom, I have to deal with it. But in order for me to be able to take care of my children the way I want to, I have to put my business at the top of my priority list right now.
• Feed my soul – This is an enormous work in progress for me. I have finally broken down and admitted I just do not know how to do it. I will keep you posted on what I discover.

There are many more steps, but I think you get the idea. Once you build your core values, you too can take the steps necessary to change your life.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I still have my pity party moments. I think everyone needs those now and again to stay sane. The difference is, when I am feeling that way, I stop and analyze what I am feeling and why. Let me share a little bit of my story with you.

When I was eleven years old, my father became gravely ill with cancer. It was certainly not an experience I would ever wish on anyone. In effect, I became an adult at eleven. When I could have taken the situation we were in and turned into another source of stress for my mom, I analyzed the situation and recognized the fact that my parents needed my help. Luckily my father survived after a very long battle and is alive and well today.

When we talk about that time as a family there are mixed emotions, there are times even today we wonder, “why us?” But, I have to admit, one of the things I have always said is, although it was not a pleasant time in our life, it made me who I am today. I honestly believe that I would not be where I am today without that experience. It made me strong. It made me tough. It made me a go getter. I never touched drugs because I saw firsthand the effect they had on my dad (with chemotherapy).

Honestly, I have no idea how my life would have turned out had I not had that experience, but I am thankful for it. Yes, you read right, thankful. Granted, I would not want to live through it again, but I have chosen to take the largest of obstacles in my life and turned it into a positive.

How can you do that? What is happening in your life that may seem like an obstacle now, but may end up being an opportunity for you to grow in the long run? I see it on almost a daily basis in my life. I might lose a client one day, but get another client a few days later that is a better fit. You might blow out a tire and meet an amazing business prospect at the repair shop. When I had to have surgery a couple of years ago, I took the down time as a sign that I needed to slow down altogether.

When life seems to be throwing you lemons, stop and examine them. Maybe there is an opportunity to make lemonade and heck, why not open a lemonade stand?!

The problem that I find I run into when I go to events like this is that I get completely overwhelmed. I figure I cannot be alone in this feeling. I have to admit, I get a little frustrated too. Is it bad that I am admitting that? I get frustrated because sometimes the presenters almost make “it” look easy, when we all know “it” is not.

What is “it”? Success…

I don’t know about you, but I have been busting my butt for the last fifteen years. And while, yes, relatively speaking I have done very well for myself, it has been a very long and hard road. Not only that, I find I always want more. And, being the overachiever that I am, I want it now (and I think we would all like it to be easy).

My latest shift began just over a year ago. I was doing very well with my tax practice. However, I wanted more. I really wanted to change people’s lives. Although taxes are “fun” and all, I really do not feel like I am “changing people’s lives”.

So, I have decided to add different lines of service that I feel can really make a change. But, it seems like I keep running into obstacles everywhere I go with these new ventures. Everywhere I turn, someone or something seems to knock me on my proverbial butt.

So, what is the difference between success and failure? I really hate to be cliché, but…NEVER GIVE UP!!!!! Trust me, there are times I feel like the whole world is against me. Sometimes I feel like there are things out of this world that are against me. I feel like someone or something is constantly giving me gut checks when it comes to my life and my business. But, you know what? I consider myself a huge success. Do you want to know why? Because no matter how hard I get hit, I shake my head, stand up, dust myself off and keep on keeping on.

As my mother used to say when I was a child, “Watch out world, Kristi is coming through!” Well, now I am saying it…loud and clear. When I look into the eyes of my husband, my children, my parents, my employee, and especially when I look into the mirror I know how much they are relying on me to pick myself up and keep going. That is what gives me the strength I need.

So, why am I sharing this with you? Because I am not alone. And while some people may not want to share their struggles, I know I am not the only one. People need to know there are more people out there in the same boat.

Go look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you are a huge success because you have and never will give up. You already are a huge success!

Anyone who knows me personally knows I am person who looks at my body as a temple. I have always love exercise (I know I am a freak), I try as hard as I can to eat right, I pretty much only drink water. So, I eat right and exercise…I should be healthy, right? I found out this week, not so much. I may look healthy to the average person, but to a doctor, they see the signs of stress taking over my body. I know for a fact I am far from alone.

You may be asking what does stress have to do with money? I am here to tell you a whole lot. Here are some examples you may be able to relate too:

Big money, big stress – If you are making good money, that is wonderful. So, stress and money do not go hand in hand for you…or does it? Usually if you are making good money, it comes with some pretty good stress too. In the corporate world, money and stress really go hand in hand. There is a reason the more responsibility you have the more money you make. Then you may get into the situation of not really liking your job, but the money is so good…  Then you feel stuck. If you are in this situation, please remember no amount of money is worth your happiness or your health. If you find yourself miserable, there is a way out, you just have to be willing to look for it.

Little money, big stress – Those on the opposite side of the spectrum also have stress. They may love their job, but financially things are really tight. Sometimes it takes thinking outside the box. What are some other ways you can make a little extra money? What are some expenses you really could live without? Work together as a family to make a plan to make things work.

Everyday stress – There are also those that are right in the middle. They make enough money, but they could be happier and less stressed out. I want to make some points I want everyone to remember.

• The most important things are your health and your family, because without either of those, nothing else really matters.
• Take time for yourself – learn how to meditate, go for walks, exercise. A little me time can go a long way.
• Enjoy the smaller things in life - trust me, my kids have me pulling my hair out on a regular basis. However, it’s those special moments when they have me laughing so hard I am crying that I remember years later. Enjoy the hugs and kisses from loved ones, rather than a quick hug, embrace and breathe in.
• Everything is perfect – There is a lesson to be learned from every experience. Rather than wallowing in the misery, try to find the lesson and learn it. You will find the wounds heal much quicker.

I know times are tough, but that is when you learn to appreciate what really matters. Go on, enjoy life…I dare you!

On the other hand, he also knows he is not alone. Anyone who has ever played football or known someone who has played football knows they tend to be a very tight knit group. When he is out on that field, every single one of those players and coaches has his back. With that kind of support, you feel like you can take anything down. I watched my 51 pound son this weekend bring down other players almost twice his size.

If my little guy can do that, imagine what you could tackle if you knew you had a team supporting you? I run into people that have debt they are hiding from their spouse, or feel like they should handle it alone, or they are ashamed to share it with others. For all of you that fall into any one of those categories, let me share some information with you:

• In most circumstances, you should not feel like you have to hide your debt from your spouse. (Unless of course you are in extenuating circumstances). However, if you are not, I hope you understand you chose this person to share your life with you. When you said your vows, you were committing yourself to them completely. Take that burden and share it with them, more than likely they will understand, hold your hand and walk side by side with you until you are debt free. Things are probably not nearly as bad as they seem when you have a partner.
• If one spouse pays the bills and the other is not aware of what is going on, start having a weekly meeting of the minds. It is not uncommon to find out the spouse paying the bills is overwhelmed and the one who is not aware is feeling left out in the cold. Communicate! I have always known in my heart that “together” my husband and I can handle anything…hopefully you do to.
• If you feel ashamed, please don’t. Reach out! There are people out there that can help you. If you cannot afford to pay someone, reach out to a trusted friend or relative. Talk to them about being an accountability partner. Sometimes it is just a little support that we need.

You know the situation you are in. You know what solution(s) will work best for you. Reach out and ask for help, you will be amazed at what can transpire when you ask for it.

That is why these last couple of weeks has been such an experience for me.  I think I finally get it!!  Yes, I want to be rich, who doesn’t?  But it is not about that.  I was committing myself to the wrong thing if I wanted to be rich.  It is not about the money.  Okay, the money is an enormous bonus.  But, I need to make a priority list when it comes to commitment.  If I want to be rich in the truest sense of the word, I need this to be my priority list:

1. Me! – I need to be number one.  As a mother of three young boys, this is very difficult to admit.  Moms understand we tend to put everyone else in front of us.  Then, if there is anything left over, we might use it on ourselves.  Admit it…more than likely we will find someone else to use it on though. 
2. My husband – Over 10 years ago I swore before God and all of my family and friends that I would love this man in good times and bad, for richer or poorer, etc.  Here I am several years later, not taking care of myself or him.  He always seemed to be second to last on my list (I was last if you were wondering).  God bless him, he still loves me and takes care of me as if I am the only person in his world.  I now need to return the favor.
3. My boys – I have to admit, they might have moved down a couple of notches.  But, before you throw me under the bus, follow me.  I have always put them above me or my husband.  But, then there was not much of either of us to give to them.  Now, if my husband and I are taking care of ourselves first, there will be so much more to give to them.  So, they really do win!
4. My extended family & friends – Without them, I don’t know where I would be today.  I have family and friends that have supported me and loved me throughout my whole life.  I also have friends that don’t have as many years under their belt, but they have sure made up for it in lifting me as they climb the mountain with me.  To all of my girlfriends out there…you know who you are!
5. My clients – I have to admit, I have some of the best clients in the world.  Many of them have come to me knowing the enormous commitment I have for my family.  They understand why my office hours are what they are and they support it.  They don’t mind getting a call the morning of their appointment to reschedule because I have a sick child.  They understand the value I bring to every hour of mine they pay for. 

I am sure there is more I am missing, but you get the point.  I am so thankful for all that I have and all those people in my life.  From this day forth, I promise I am committed to you in the order noted above.  With that said, I am now the richest woman in the world.

Before we left, a group of us that were going met for dinner and “set intentions”, (pretty much another way of setting goals).  Don’t get me wrong, I think this is a wonderful idea.  It gets people focused and helps them stay on the course they want to go.  However, for some overachievers like me, I set so many “intentions” and I set them so high, I became completely overwhelmed when I got there.  I spent a good day of the conference in a funk.  I did, eventually, snap out of it, but I wanted to pass on what I had learned.

• Set “appropriate” goals! – You know yourself better than anyone else, so make sure you set goals.  However, set goals that are not going to overwhelm you and make you want to give up.  If that means daily goals, then so be it.  If that means larger goals, with baby steps to get there, then make it happen.
• Schedule time to reassess your goals – Think about how you work.  If you want to make sure you are on the right path…and are staying on the right path, you need to make time to reassess.  How frequently is completely up to you.  Are you someone that needs daily or weekly goals?  Or will setting aside time on a monthly basis suffice? 
• Evaluate how you are feeling – If you are completely overwhelmed by the goals you have set, chances are you are going to give up without accomplishing them.  The point of goals is not to give you heart palpitations.  It is very important to have those big goals, but sometimes you need to focus on the little steps it takes to get there. 
• Don’t put your blinders on – Part of my experience while I was in Dallas was that I was so focused on the goals I had set, I was not taking in all the amazing opportunities that were right in front of me.  Keep in mind, what may be your intention, may not be the Universe’s intention.  Stay open to other amazing opportunities while you are focused on your goal. 
• Recognize failure as an opportunity – Trust me, no one likes failing.  However, sometimes failure is a hidden opportunity to rise even higher than before.  It’s the people that recognize that and seize it that will rise to the highest levels.

In conclusion, yes, set goals.  But, do not let them get in your way.  Be open to the fact that life may have a different plan and be willing to be flexible.  The Universe may have bigger plans for you than you do!

I know you are probably saying to yourself I am thankful for what I have, but then you find yourself doing the same thing.  Stop for a minute and think about what you are thankful for right now.  Is it:

• The fact you were able to pay all your bills and not take any money out of the savings account or put anything on the credit card this month?
• Your car started this morning and got you where you needed to be on time?
• Your little one said their first word?
• Your spouse kissed you goodbye before they left for the day?
• You have a job?
• The fact you are an entrepreneur for one more day?

I am not telling you to stop thinking big.  I feel you should absolutely “think big”.  However, be thankful for what you currently have.  Someday you will have all the finer things in life if you put your mind to it, but don’t lose yourself in it.

I went to the eWomenNetwork International Conference and Business Expo this last weekend.  While I was inspired by all the wonderful speakers and brilliant women I was surrounded by, I also found myself overwhelmed with the thought of what I needed to accomplish.  This is when I had my “aha” moment and realized if I slowed down and was thankful for what I have right now, everything else will magically start to fall into place.

The first and most important thing you need to do is take a good look at your finances.  See where you can plug some holes to make it happen.  Once you do that, put a budget in place.  Recently my husband and I gave ourselves a $1,000 budget to go to San Diego for the weekend.  We are going this weekend for our 10^th wedding anniversary.  I will share with you later how it all goes. 

Here are some tips on how to get great travel deals.

Research Your Vacation Options – If money is a concern to begin with, I don’t want you to stress yourself out more with an expensive vacation.  Here you have a couple of options.  If you are a do-it-yourself kind of person, the internet is your best friend.  Surf the web to find the best deals around.  Depending on the economy, you will want to book your vacation way in advance, or the night before you leave.  With the economy in the state it is now, I have heard of a few people booking flights to Europe a few days before and getting screaming deals.  A friend of mine booked a weekend in San Francisco the day they left and were shocked at the enormous discount they were able to get because they were booking it on the spur of the moment. 

If you are more like me, you get a little overwhelmed researching all that information.  I am a big fan of travel agents.  If you find a good travel agent, you can call them with some ideas of where you want to go, when, for how long and give them your budget and you are set!  The best part is this service does not cost you a penny.  Travel agents do this for a living, so, they know the best places for the best prices.  It really is a win, win for everyone.

Over the next couple of weeks I am going to outline ten steps to financial summer survival.  Today is step one:

Take a Vacation – I know that seems counterintuitive, because that takes money, right?  I am aware of the fact that it takes money.  However, I am one of the worst culprits when it comes to not taking a vacation.  I can always come up with some excuse as to why we cannot, usually related to the family budget.  See if you think my logic makes sense, if you take a vacation, you will be refreshed and relaxed…ready to take on the world when you come back.  You will be less likely to get sick or burned out.  So, now you are ready to conquer the universe.  With all that extra energy, you will perform better at work, impress your boss, maybe you will end up getting a promotion, which all leads to more money in the future.  I don’t know about you, but I like that way of thinking.  It is worth spending some money now to rejuvenate…it will pay for itself in the future.

So, take my advice and go on vacation, even if it is a little one.  Something is better than nothing.  Get creative; you don’t have to go to Hawaii to get away.  Check out hidden treasures in your own back yard.  Living in the Sacramento Valley, I have Lake Tahoe or San Francisco within two hours either way.  Not to mention the Napa Valley or any of the other beautiful vacation spots.  Check out your neck of the woods and see what you can find. 

The most important thing is that you relax.  Go!  Have some fun…