A couple of weeks ago I was lucky enough to be able to attend Ali Brown’s Shine conference at the Venetian/Palazzo hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada. What a great time! While the weekend itself had me feeling an enormous roller coaster of emotions, they were all very real and important feelings. I took time on Saturday evening after the conference was over to work through some of them with my dear friend that I went with. Here are some of the nuggets of information I was able to pull together.

• Do a core value check – So often we get caught up doing what we are technically good at, we don’t take the time to see if it is in line with what we truly hold near and dear to our hearts.
• Be honest with yourself about what your core values are - It’s okay…some things that you may feel obligated to be on there, may not really be part of your core values.
• Limit yourself to your top 5 core values – Start with 10 and narrow down to your top 5. See how you feel once you have them out there.
• Build your life and your career around those values – If you are feeling totally out of balance, this may be your problem. If you are not holding true to your core values, start to take steps to move your life in that direction. It is amazing the difference you will feel.

There was so much more than that, but those are the heart of the experience. Now, based on that, this is how I have decided to change my life since I returned.

• Focus on me and my business – While I always thought I was taking my business seriously, the Universe certainly did not think so. Hence, I have changed my office hours to reflect how serious I am.
• Make my business my top priority – I will do this by stopping the distractions, prioritizing tasks and focusing my time accordingly. I also had a very serious heart to heart with my husband and each of my boys individually letting them know what is going on and how things would be changing.
• Step up and do what it takes, even if (especially if) it makes me uncomfortable
• Talk to my husband about “mommy guilt” - I know that may seem strange, but as a mom, I have to deal with it. But in order for me to be able to take care of my children the way I want to, I have to put my business at the top of my priority list right now.
• Feed my soul – This is an enormous work in progress for me. I have finally broken down and admitted I just do not know how to do it. I will keep you posted on what I discover.

There are many more steps, but I think you get the idea. Once you build your core values, you too can take the steps necessary to change your life.

I am one of those “lucky” people that can suffer from a severe bout of insomnia now and again. Now, I don’t know about you, but, I have done everything in my power to follow all the sleep rules. Comfy bed, dim lights, no television while in bed, etc. And anyone who has ever suffered from insomnia will tell you absolutely none of that does a thing if your brain does not feel like shutting down at that time. As I am writing this, it is just after midnight. I went to bed hours ago and cannot seem to shut down enough to sleep.

Something that I have realized with this latest bout of insomnia is that (at least for me) I feel it might be a sign of major shifts happening in my life. When I stop and think about the other times I have had insomnia, it certainly fits that pattern. MORE

I see it all the time, not just with myself, but with my family, friends and clients as well. I really don’t want to admit it, but I will. I procrastinate. There, I said it. I procrastinate. Phew! I think I actually feel better. I am not a big fan of procrastination, but I do catch myself doing it now and again. What bothers me the most is when other people do it and it effects me. Have you ever thought about it that way?

In my practice, procrastination has an enormous impact on my life. Mainly when other people have decided procrastination is the direction they should go. For example, when tax season rolls around and clients wait until April 10^th to get everything to me and then they do not want to file an extension. Is that really fair to me or my family? No!  That is why I have put procedures in place to stop that from happening.

Stop and think about how procrastination has affected your life? Do you procrastinate? When? Who does it affect? Do you wait until the last minute to pay your bills? Who does that hurt? What about your spouse, your children, your accountant, your babysitter? Does your procrastination affect them? Is that really fair?

Stop procrastinating! When you start to feel the urge, recognize it and stop the process. Why put off until tomorrow when you can do it today?

I have heard that if you want to be rich, you have to be committed to it unreservedly.  Okay, I guess I get it.  I think everyone wants to be rich, right?  It is probably the level of commitment that separates the rich from…well, everyone else.  I have spent the last several years trying so hard to get to that place.  I have told myself I am committed…yada, yada, yada.  Yet, I keep feeling like the harder I try, the further away I get from “it”.  What was I doing wrong? 

That is why these last couple of weeks has been such an experience for me.  I think I finally get it!!  Yes, I want to be rich, who doesn’t?  But it is not about that.  I was committing myself to the wrong thing if I wanted to be rich.  It is not about the money.  Okay, the money is an enormous bonus.  But, I need to make a priority list when it comes to commitment.  If I want to be rich in the truest sense of the word, I need this to be my priority list:

1. Me! – I need to be number one.  As a mother of three young boys, this is very difficult to admit.  Moms understand we tend to put everyone else in front of us.  Then, if there is anything left over, we might use it on ourselves.  Admit it…more than likely we will find someone else to use it on though. 
2. My husband – Over 10 years ago I swore before God and all of my family and friends that I would love this man in good times and bad, for richer or poorer, etc.  Here I am several years later, not taking care of myself or him.  He always seemed to be second to last on my list (I was last if you were wondering).  God bless him, he still loves me and takes care of me as if I am the only person in his world.  I now need to return the favor.
3. My boys – I have to admit, they might have moved down a couple of notches.  But, before you throw me under the bus, follow me.  I have always put them above me or my husband.  But, then there was not much of either of us to give to them.  Now, if my husband and I are taking care of ourselves first, there will be so much more to give to them.  So, they really do win!
4. My extended family & friends – Without them, I don’t know where I would be today.  I have family and friends that have supported me and loved me throughout my whole life.  I also have friends that don’t have as many years under their belt, but they have sure made up for it in lifting me as they climb the mountain with me.  To all of my girlfriends out there…you know who you are!
5. My clients – I have to admit, I have some of the best clients in the world.  Many of them have come to me knowing the enormous commitment I have for my family.  They understand why my office hours are what they are and they support it.  They don’t mind getting a call the morning of their appointment to reschedule because I have a sick child.  They understand the value I bring to every hour of mine they pay for. 

I am sure there is more I am missing, but you get the point.  I am so thankful for all that I have and all those people in my life.  From this day forth, I promise I am committed to you in the order noted above.  With that said, I am now the richest woman in the world.

When you look at how you make money, did you ever look at it like you were just solving a problem?  Stop and think about it for a minute…what problem do you solve?  If you are a child care provider, people need somewhere for their kids to go while they are at work.  You just solved their problem!  If you are a dog walker, someone might need to pay to have you walk their dog while they are at work because they do not have the time.  You just solved their problem! 

If you are finding you are struggling with money, take a look at what problems you are solving.  Is it a problem you enjoy solving?  When you think about solving these problems do you get excited or do you get an empty feeling in the pit of your stomach?  Are there other problems you would prefer to solve?  Are you passionate about solving the problems you do solve, or do you just do it because they are there?    

There are a couple of things I can recommend if you would like to get paid more for your problem solving.

1. Solve problems you are passionate about.  Trust me I used to solve problems I really did not care about.  But, now I am extremely passionate about what I am doing.  The best part is, people can tell and they are naturally drawn in.  When you love what you do, everything else just seems to fall into place.
2. 2.    Solve bigger problems.  The bigger the problems you solve, the more money you will get paid.  If you are willing to take on the bigger tasks, you will be rewarded financially.  It just might put you first in line for that promotion you were hoping for or add a few percentage points to that raise you were up for. 
3. 3.    Solve more problems.  If you are the go to guy or gal for problem solving, you will soon build a reputation.  This reputation will end up in the right hands at the right time.  Whether you end up with more clients or bigger and more lucrative projects, the end result looks good.
4. 4.    Be selective about the problems you choose to take on.  Boundaries are very important.  Only take on the problems you want to take on.  You know who I am talking about, you do not want to be a yes man or woman to just anyone.  There are ways to be strategic about what you take on.  Do what feels right.  Do not let yourself get overwhelmed. 

If you have proper boundaries in place and you are passionate about the problems you solve, my guess is you are a very happy person.  Keeping a good balance is imperative. 

Take a look and see where you can make some changes, who knows what might come of it.

Does this seem like a strange question?  I used to think it was.  That is until I decided to really dig deep and see why my business was not doing as well as I wanted it to.  The good news is this doesn’t just apply to entrepreneurs, this can easily explain why you do not have the level of income you would like. 

Take a minute and reflect…How were you raised?  Did your parents teach you that it was not appropriate to ask for things?  That it is better to give than to receive?  Money is the root of all evil?  If that is the case, then, my guess is, you are probably not a very good receiver in many ways.

Don’t get me wrong, your parents had the absolute best of intentions.  They were at least partially right.  There are definitely times when it is not appropriate to ask for things.  However, when you own your own business, it is appropriate to ask for payment from a client.  If you are an employee, there are situations when it is okay to ask for a raise.  And, yes, it is generally better to give than it is to receive.  But, again, when you are trying to make a living, receiving is a necessity…why not be good at it? 

I remember when I started my practice a few years ago.  It was really awkward for me to ask my clients for payment.  I would go so far as letting them leave and then billing them later.  Unfortunately, not everyone is as honest as I am and I did not always receive payment.  (Don’t worry, I have gotten over that now).  As far as money being the root of all evil, it is the person behind the money that can create evil.  Look at people like Oprah or Bill Gates who give millions of dollars to charity every year.  I do not see evil there.

Sometimes it just takes a shift in your mindset with regard to money and attracting it.  Money is good!  Money is great!  Just because you desire more money does not mean you are greedy.  I would like to make a whole lot of money!  Not for the material things I can buy (although, that is an added bonus), but for the freedom I will have.  Not to mention the charities I plan on donating to.  How great will it be when I know I can help out a charity in need and don’t have to consult my checkbook first. 

Practice being a good receiver.  When someone gives you a compliment, just say thank you.  When you get a stellar review at work with a raise and promotion, just say thank you.  Remember, you deserve it.  You would not have received it if you did not.  When you land that fantastic client, just say thank you for giving you the opportunity to be of service to them.

If you really think about it, we spend our lives trying to get comfortable.  If we are too hot, we turn on the air conditioner.  If we are too cold, we turn up the heat or grab a blanket.  If we are hungry we eat.  Do you see a pattern here?  I think that is why, as adults, when we find ourselves in a comfortable situation, we tend to stay there.  It doesn’t matter if we are happy or if the situation is healthy, we stay because we are comfortable.  So, with that in mind, is comfort a good or bad thing?  The answer is it depends.

Comfort is definitely a good thing when it comes to temperature (especially while I sit in my air conditioned office).  However, when it comes to your relationships, your education and your career, comfort may not be the best thing for you.  Sometimes we stay in relationships that may not be good for us because it is comfortable.  Maybe we choose not to go back to school to get more education because we know that school is hard.  Do we really want to put ourselves through that again?  Are you staying in your current job because “better the devil you know, than the devil you don’t”? 

How is comfort holding you back?  Take a good hard look at your life.  Are you staying in a situation just because it is comfortable?  I challenge you to reach for your dreams.  Sometimes it takes stepping outside of your comfort zone to really discover who you are and what you are truly meant to do with your life.  Follow your intuition, learn the lessons you are meant to learn, most importantly, start today.

Are you the best at what you do?  Are you the best at who you are?  Do you at least try to be the best at everything you do?  Did you know this could be what is holding you back from your financial goals? 

It really does make sense if you think about it.  More than likely self-made millionaires are probably the best (or close to it) at what they do.  If you make good money, you are probably pretty good at what you do.  But, could you be making more?  If so, what do you need to do to make that happen?  What is holding you back? 

Are you the best you can be in your career?  Do you want to do more?  If so, is there a reason you are not doing it?  What would it take to get where you really want to be?  More schooling, a license of some kind, a college degree, a graduate degree?  What is the first step?  Maybe it is looking up the courses online or researching the steps you will need to take and making a plan.  Whatever it is, I challenge you to take it.

Are you the best family member you can be (whether you are a mom, dad, son, daughter, brother or sister)?  If not, why not?  Are you spending too much time at work?  Do you need a family vacation, but you are too afraid to spend the time and money on one?  What would it take for you to take the first step? 

Physically, are you where you want to be?  Do you have the body you have always dreamed of?  Do you have all the energy you could ever want?  Are you getting all the sleep you desire?  If you are confused and can’t even begin to think about where to start, just go for a walk.  Not only will that give you time to think about it, but you will be getting exercise too.  Think about joining a gym or starting to play a sport recreationally that you have always been interested in. 

Do you have all the education you wanted to get?  Maybe you do not necessarily need to get more education for your career, but you have always wanted to learn about ________.  Why not go to a local community college and take a class here or there?  Start reading books on the subject.  There is nothing wrong with constantly educating oneself.

I want to inspire you to be the best at everything you do.  If you are perfectly happy where you are at with your life, then celebrate and enjoy the feeling.  But I have found, most people may be happy for a time, but then they want more.  If you want more, explore that feeling.  See what it is you desire and make a plan to make it happen.  If nothing else, put it on a dream board and see how it manifests itself.  I promise, you will not be sorry you did.

My parents are from a generation that was all about safety and security.  It makes sense because my grandparents grew up during the Depression, so they naturally passed down their very conservative financial view to them.  It was all about stability.  You got a job out of high school or college and you were likely set for life.  There were people that had the same job from the age of 18 to retirement.  That was what was desired in those days.  The one very important thing that was missing was happiness.  Yes, they had safety, security and stability, but were they happy?  I do not remember my parents always being happy with their jobs, but at least they had one, right?  To them, the stability was more important than their own happiness. 

This need for safety, security and stability was passed down to me.  Was it passed down to you?  I remember graduating college and looking forward to getting my license as a Certified Public Accountant.  After that, I had plans to find a large company I could go work for until retirement (if I was “lucky”).  I felt the need to have that safety because it was what I knew.  I grew up in the Bay Area which has always been ahead of its time.  Unfortunately, layoffs were a fact of life because of the volatility of the market in that area, even in the 1980’s and 1990’s.  I did not want to experience the same ups and downs, so this set my fate in stone…or so I thought. 

If you are like me, once you got settled after school, you were happy for a little while.  But then, I started to get this feeling that I was meant to do so much more.  The corporate world was like a box that was way too small for me.  The corporate ladder was very difficult to climb with a baby on my hip.  Luckily, I broke the chains of my upbringing.  I realized I could have a job for life, but that was not what was going to make me happy.  I wanted more, I needed more. 

Are you doing the same?  Are you settling because you are afraid of what lies in the world of the unknown?  Are you underpaid, but keep telling yourself I am just happy to have a job right now?  I understand we are still in a recession and we have to take what we get sometimes, but I challenge you to go for it.  When the time is right, make your move.  You have to follow your heart.  You do not want to end up at retirement, looking back at your life, realizing you were miserable and missed out on some precious family time and great financial opportunities just because of some old programming.

I am not telling you to take some crazy chances that could land you in some hot water.  I want you to look at your life and start thinking about what you really want.  Are you happy?  If not, why not?  Take stock of your life and start to make plans for the future.  Create the life you really want to live!

Have you ever heard of the movie “The Secret”?  Who hasn’t, right?  Whether you loved it or hated it, the movie had a really good underlying message.  If you want something, you have to believe in yourself enough to achieve it.  You need to expect to succeed!

A good friend of mine (Jennifer Bourn, owner of Bourn Creative) shared a quote from Jim Rohn on Twitter that I thought was perfect for this topic.  It is “Reward in becoming a millionaire isn’t the money.  It’s the person you have to become to be a millionaire in the first place.”  If you are struggling with money and finances in general, stop and take a look at how you feel about it. 

• Do you expect to succeed when it comes to money or are you feeling beaten and frustrated? 
• Are you always confident that the money will be there to pay the bills? 
• Do you think the Universe is conspiring for your greater good? 
• Is there a lesson you may need to learn before you can move on to brighter days with regard to your finances? 
• When you go to pay the bills, take stock of your body.  How do you feel?  Are you tense? On edge? Nervous or relaxed?

I am not saying this is an easy thing to do.  Start with one step at a time.  Recognize your feelings.  Try to remember everything happens for a reason.  Maybe there is a lesson to be learned.  Relax and realize you have complete control of your fate.  If you expect to succeed, chances are you will.  You have to become that person first, then the pieces will start falling into place.