As parents, we naturally have dreams for our children. That is part of being a parent. However, I am finding these days that too many parents are a little obsessive about their dreams for their children.

As many of you know, I have three boys, Derek is 8 years old, Nathan is 6 years old and Shawn is 4 years old. Derek has been in sports for almost three years now and Nathan has been in for a full year. We have experienced Soccer, Baseball and Football. I absolutely love sports for my boys. It keeps them active, it teaches them discipline, it helps them focus, just to name a few of the benefits. But, the number one reason my boys are there is because they want to and they themselves are extremely passionate about it.

Unfortunately there is a dark side to children’s sports. Any of you out there that have children in sports knows exactly what I am talking about. There are always those parents that take it to a whole new level. Last night I witnessed a mother trying to carry (physically forcing) her young son of six out onto the practice football field. After several minutes of this, the head coach went over and talked to them. This is not something that should be happening people! That little boy should not be on that field if he does not want to be, especially with football.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a no nonsense mom that does not take garbage from my children. I remember sending my 3 year old to swim lessons at the local pool crying and letting them work it out the first couple of sessions. I have also witnessed children crying at the first practice of baseball or soccer because they did not want to be there. I have seen some of those children quit and I have seen some completely turn things around and love the sport once they give it a chance. But, I have never seen someone physically try to drag their child on the field and force them to play.

Football is an extremely demanding sport and conditioning is certainly no picnic in the park. The thought of that poor boy being forced to go through something that grueling in 90 degree heat without even wanting to be there really breaks my heart.

The other thing I see out there is when the parent feels the need to force themselves on the coaches and the referrees/umpires. When, they are sitting and talking strategy at the first meeting when it is seven year olds playing soccer. When they are screaming at their children from the sidelines and completely humiliating them in front of their teammates. Childhood sports are supposed to be fun and educational for the children. Yes, they definitely get more competitive as they get older. But as a parent, aren’t we supposed to be there to encourage them and support them so they can develop the skills they will use the rest of their life in the real world and let the coaches take care of the discipline and coaching on the field?

I just felt like I had to say something for the little guys out there on the field giving it their all. You and I both know it means the world to them to be out there on that field. We both know all they want to do is play their heart out and make you and their coaches happy and proud. How about we change our way of thinking and let them play the game while we cheer them on from the sidelines?

I believe it was September when I actually realized my mojo was missing. I was having dinner with some girlfriends and we started discussing it. I started thinking about myself back in high school and college. I just presented myself different. According to my husband, I walked with a strut (he later explained it to be that I walked with a purpose). In other words, I am going somewhere, move out of my way. I was never malicious or mean to anyone, that is just not my style. But, I knew what I was doing, where I was going and no one had better get in my way or I would let them know about it. It definitely got me in some hot water when I was younger, because insecure people would try to bring me down. But, I never wavered. My method of operation was to feel the sting, cry (just a little bit) and then get really ticked off. That was when I would turn into a bulldozer. It was like, “Oh, you don’t think I can do this? Well, let me show you how wrong you are!” I did it in college with difficult professors, I did it at the beginning of my career with difficult Seniors and Managers. I LOVED proving them wrong.

Then, I had my first son and I was thrown into a tailspin. Anyone that has ever had children knows the tailspin I am talking about. Suddenly, I don’t have complete control anymore, I can’t just “prove him wrong” to make myself feel better. Things weren’t nearly as cut and dry. Also, finances became much more complicated. Budgeting was more difficult, there was a lot more to think about. And, to top it all off, I had this little man completely depending on me. Wow, that will rock your world. Now, I don’t want to completely bore you with all the things that have beaten me down over the last eight years, but I am sure you understand. Life has taken my mojo away. It is still there, somewhere, it is just hiding from me.

I can see now, the consequences have been significant. I feel like I have become this totally wimpy victim. With that, comes blaming others for my situation. Whether it is dealing with the down economy or dealing with difficult clients. I haven’t had the same fire lit up under me. Well, that has all changed. Whenever I feel my shoulders slump, I immediately put them back. Every time I start to see that wimpy Kristi come back, I immediately think of that feisty girl I used to be. I am slowly, but surely, bringing her back. There is no longer a victim here. I own it! I know who I am and what I am here to do. Okay Universe, watch out, Kristi’s got her mojo back!

Dictionary.com defines focus as “a central point, as of attraction, attention, or activity.” I love this word because it is my new best friend. I have always been one that was focused. For goodness sake, I made the decision to do accounting when I was fifteen. From what I understand, not many teenagers do that, and stick with it. The fact of the matter is, I love numbers. I have always loved numbers…they speak to me. And, honestly, they speak to me now more than ever.

When you are in school, your life is mapped out for you. When you finish first grade, you go to second and so on. After you graduate from high school, there are some variations, but overall, your life is still pretty mapped out for you if you go the college route. Once you make your decision about your major, they give you a list of classes and prerequisites and guide you through the maze.

In my field of accounting, again, there are variations, but overall your life is still mapped out for you depending on your goals. Mine was to get licensed as a Certified Public Accountant, so I followed that route.

But, then I had children. My focus was taken so far off course, it has taken me almost eight years to get back in focus. The good news is, I figured out this morning that this  mama is focused again! I know what I want and I don’t plan on letting anything get in my way.

Focus is such an amazing gift. While you may have life’s challenges take you off course, focus is what helps you get back on track. For years I really was not sure what I wanted. I had these three absolutely perfect little boys. I was so worried I was not spending enough time with them or being a good enough mom. I wanted clients, but I wanted to spend time with my boys. I wanted more money, but I didn’t want to work too much.

Now, I understand that the best gift I can give my boys is a happy and successful mom. With that decision made, I have been able to focus on my business more than ever while still being the best mom I can be. I have the Black Eyed Peas song “Let’s Get it Started” running through my head because even though I have had my business for over five years, I almost feel like I am just now really lifting off.

I am so excited because I feel like I have just given birth to my fourth baby. I cannot wait to see what this year has in store for me now with my new found focus.