Well, I don’t know about you, but I certainly do not want to pass this on to my children. Growing up I naturally focused on the negative that was happening in my life. However, when I look back at my childhood, I would always say things, like, “I wouldn’t want to live through it again, but it made me who I am today.” When you think about it, there was a little spark inside of me that knew I should focus on the positive that came out of any negative. Then, in 2006 I saw the movie, “The Secret”. That movie changed the lives of millions out there, including mine.

I have to admit, I don’t necessarily agree with everything in the movie, but it made me realize I had that spark inside of me. The last couple years have been difficult for just about everyone out there. Financially, this country is in a crisis. People are losing everything that they own. Last week I had the pleasure of seeing Yo Pal Hal Elrod speak at the South Placer Chapter of eWomenNetwork. Hal has written the book “Taking Life Head On”. It is all about how he was hit head on by a drunk driver on Highway 99 when he was 20 years old. He was actually dead for six minutes on the side of the road. But, he survived and he shared his story about how he decided to turn such a tragedy into something positive.

What an inspiration! Last week, I started to take stock of all the wonderful blessings I have in my life. Yes, things have been hard with the economy lately, but what if we stopped and looked at the lessons we were learning instead of all the negative things going on around us? Some people are addicted to watching the news. I used to be addicted to the news, but then I realized how depressed I was after watching it. Some people may think I choose to bury my head in the sand. That is fine, they can think that, but I know I am cautious about what I choose to let into my space.

Be careful with your thoughts. Be careful with what you let into your space. Start to be conscious about who and what you let into your world. Start focusing your energy on what you do have in this world. Be thankful for those beautiful children you have. Be thankful for the job you do have and the money that is coming in, no matter how much or how little it is.

Change your attitude, change your world.

• Do a core value check – So often we get caught up doing what we are technically good at, we don’t take the time to see if it is in line with what we truly hold near and dear to our hearts.
• Be honest with yourself about what your core values are - It’s okay…some things that you may feel obligated to be on there, may not really be part of your core values.
• Limit yourself to your top 5 core values – Start with 10 and narrow down to your top 5. See how you feel once you have them out there.
• Build your life and your career around those values – If you are feeling totally out of balance, this may be your problem. If you are not holding true to your core values, start to take steps to move your life in that direction. It is amazing the difference you will feel.

There was so much more than that, but those are the heart of the experience. Now, based on that, this is how I have decided to change my life since I returned.

• Focus on me and my business – While I always thought I was taking my business seriously, the Universe certainly did not think so. Hence, I have changed my office hours to reflect how serious I am.
• Make my business my top priority – I will do this by stopping the distractions, prioritizing tasks and focusing my time accordingly. I also had a very serious heart to heart with my husband and each of my boys individually letting them know what is going on and how things would be changing.
• Step up and do what it takes, even if (especially if) it makes me uncomfortable
• Talk to my husband about “mommy guilt” - I know that may seem strange, but as a mom, I have to deal with it. But in order for me to be able to take care of my children the way I want to, I have to put my business at the top of my priority list right now.
• Feed my soul – This is an enormous work in progress for me. I have finally broken down and admitted I just do not know how to do it. I will keep you posted on what I discover.

There are many more steps, but I think you get the idea. Once you build your core values, you too can take the steps necessary to change your life.

My friend has been to a different conference put on by the same company a year ago. She was explaining to me that this woman sells her lifestyle (i.e. multimillion dollar mansion on the beach, fancy cars, etc.)

I had a reaction I was not expecting. I told my friend I thought they were completely off base with that. I think I speak for a lot of people right now when I say, I don’t really care about all that. I love what I have and I want to know that I am going to be able to keep it. Don’t get me wrong, I would love a bigger house, nicer car, etc….

But, I have to share this secret with you…I absolutely love what I have!

Rather than always looking ahead and wanting more, have you ever stopped and taken a look at what you have? Yes, maybe the house is a little small for your family, or the car has more miles than you would like, but where would you be without them?

Take some time to think about all you DO have and appreciate it. Be thankful for the roof over your head, even if it is not the exact roof you would like. Be thankful for the car you drive, even if it ends up in the repair shop more than you would like it to.

If you are always looking forward to what is next, you are going to miss what is right in front of you. The grass is not always greener on the other side, it may just look that way from where you are.

Admire how green your grass is…

I know you are probably saying to yourself I am thankful for what I have, but then you find yourself doing the same thing.  Stop for a minute and think about what you are thankful for right now.  Is it:

• The fact you were able to pay all your bills and not take any money out of the savings account or put anything on the credit card this month?
• Your car started this morning and got you where you needed to be on time?
• Your little one said their first word?
• Your spouse kissed you goodbye before they left for the day?
• You have a job?
• The fact you are an entrepreneur for one more day?

I am not telling you to stop thinking big.  I feel you should absolutely “think big”.  However, be thankful for what you currently have.  Someday you will have all the finer things in life if you put your mind to it, but don’t lose yourself in it.

I went to the eWomenNetwork International Conference and Business Expo this last weekend.  While I was inspired by all the wonderful speakers and brilliant women I was surrounded by, I also found myself overwhelmed with the thought of what I needed to accomplish.  This is when I had my “aha” moment and realized if I slowed down and was thankful for what I have right now, everything else will magically start to fall into place.

Every generation wants their children to have more than they did.  As the mother of three boys, I respect that.  Who would not want their children to have more than they did?  However, you have to be careful what you are teaching your children.  If you find you have a habit of spending more than you should and buying yourself, or your family, things you really can’t afford, ask yourself a couple of questions:

• Do you feel entitled?
• Did your parents buy you everything you ever wanted?
• Did you get an allowance and have to budget?
• If so, was it enough for you to buy what you really wanted?
• Did you sometimes feel that your parents gave you money instead of love?
• Were the things your parents bought you out of guilt for not spending quality time with you?
• Are you passing this on to your children now?
• Are you buying your children everything they want because you are going through a divorce?

If you can take the time to reflect on your childhood, you may be able stop the pattern now.  You want to be careful about what you are passing on to your children.  Some of the things you want to pass on to your children are:

• Give them an allowance; let them learn how to budget money.
• Let them make some bad decisions with their money, you would rather them learn this now than when they are in college, or later.
• Discuss their purchases with them; make sure they know they can talk to you about money.  Keep an open dialogue.
• Don’t buy them everything they want, they need to learn about wants versus needs.
• If they want something real bad, teach them to save up their allowance for it.  This will teach them the value of money and patience.
• Immediate gratification can be very bad when they are young, but even worse when they reach their teens and early adult years.  This is how they get themselves into credit card debt.

Communication is key.  Keeping an open dialogue sets the stage for your kids.  You want them to know they can always come to you and talk about money.  Get them involved with the family budget when they get a little older.  You do not want money to be this big mysterious beast.  Shine the light on it!  Your children will thank you later…

If you have any questions about how your childhood is linked to your financial health now, check out the products page on my web site.  You can download my free personal finance assessments and get your questions answered.