When I was eleven years old, my father had to have surgery for a malignant brain tumor. Considering my age, I did not understand the enormity of the situation. But, I distinctly remember asking my dad years later when I was in high school this question, “How did you go into the operating room that day knowing your brain was going to be exposed to the elements?” I mean, the thought of him having to anticipate that literally makes my stomach turn today. I remember the day as if it was yesterday. My brother and I usually rode our bikes to school, but that day my dad drove us to school. Then, it was off to the hospital for him. To have to go about your daily life with that agonizing thought?!

I will never forget his response. “I went into that operating room assuming I was not going to come out alive. I had come to terms with death and I was at peace with it.” He still had the will to live. He had two young children and a wife to live for, and he fought. He survived and is still living a full life. But, coming to terms with your situation and reality can bring an enormous sense of peace.

I remember the day some time ago that I had to come to terms with my personal financial situation. Granted, my situation was no where near as grave as my father’s health crisis, but I did learn a lesson from it. That moment that I realized that things could not keep going the way they were going. We were definitely on a crash course with reality if things did not change…and quickly. That was scary.

But, then, I came to terms with my situation. I made peace with it. Fear was holding me back and trying to get me to keep doing what I was used to doing. However, that was clearly not serving me well anymore. Once I came to terms, I felt so empowered! There was this enormous sense of relief around me. I no longer had to keep trying to make it all work knowing it did not. I could be real now. I didn’t need to keep up with anyone or put on a show.

Peace was all around me. No matter what happened, I was at peace with it. I knew we could get out of it. But, things were going to change…and that was okay.

Coming to terms with your situation can be freeing and enlightening. Are you putting on a facade? Are you trying to make something work that just clearly isn’t going to? Do you keep burying your head in the sand? It’s okay, the first step is coming to terms.