It is a little scary when your doctor tells you that you must stop the stress in your life. The fact that it is clearly taking a toll on your body should be a wake up call.

Anyone who knows me personally knows I am person who looks at my body as a temple. I have always love exercise (I know I am a freak), I try as hard as I can to eat right, I pretty much only drink water. So, I eat right and exercise…I should be healthy, right? I found out this week, not so much. I may look healthy to the average person, but to a doctor, they see the signs of stress taking over my body. I know for a fact I am far from alone.

You may be asking what does stress have to do with money? I am here to tell you a whole lot. Here are some examples you may be able to relate too: MORE

Did you know that money is the number one cause for divorce!? I read that the other day and was shocked, but oddly not surprised. Some people say that money is the root of all evil and I counter with “only if you let it be”. In these times of financial crisis, it is important to pull together when it comes to money. Here are some practical steps to help you do that.

Set up a time to discuss finances with your spouse. The last time you want to discuss finances is when you are in a heated argument. A neutral time and place work best.

Have all of your paperwork at hand. You want to pull together bank statements, credit card statements, even your credit reports. This way you have all the pertinent information in front of you to have an intelligent conversation.

Prepare to put a plan together. Just discussing your situation with your spouse will not move you forward. Come to the table with solutions at hand. Be specific about how much you need to save, etc.
Compromise. Marriage is all about compromise. Don’t go into this with the intention of attacking the other person. Discuss areas you can both work on.

Set up “progress” meetings. You will want to set up follow up meetings to check your progress. They can be weekly or monthly. It is very encouraging to see yourselves taking steps and making progress in the right direction…together.

Don’t just make this meeting about money, make it personal. Bring your hopes, dreams and goals to the table to share with your spouse. This way, you can learn about and with each other. Talk about how money was handled in your home as a child. This can be important insight on both sides.

My husband and I did this a few months ago and it was an eye opening experience for both of us. Because of what I do for a living, I was always the one that paid the bills and handled all the money. This created stress on both sides, I was overwhelmed and he felt like he was in the dark. Now, we have a weekly meeting to pay the bills together. He is taking an active role in our financial lives and I don’t feel like I am carrying the burden on my shoulders alone. It has worked out great!

In that same initial meeting we set up some strict guidelines about how we wanted to handle money going forward. For example, no more credit card use…period. Or, we would like to save 10% of our income every month. People laugh at me when I tell them this, but we both signed and dated it. To us, it is an official legal document. Should we ever start to argue about money, we can pull out that piece of paper and refer back to it. What a nice foundation to have to refer back to when circumstances present themselves.

According to dictionary.com the word “responsible” means answerable or accountable, as for something within one’s power, control, or management. I have noticed lately that people really don’t want to take a lot of responsibility. Whether it is for the decisions they have made, the situation they are in, or taking on more of it at work. There is a certain stigma that goes along with responsibility. I think some people look at it as a bad thing. I am here to tell you why it is not, especially in this economy.

I am so tired of all the finger pointing. From the banks and credit card companies, all the way to the government, I think I speak for all Americans when I say, “WE DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT ANY MORE!!” We are very intelligent people in this country and we understand that it was not just one person or financial institution that caused this financial crisis. However, there is something to be said for coming out and taking responsibility for the part they played in creating this house of cards that has apparently started to come down. Clearly, there were terrible decisions made, but take ownership of it. Once we do that, we can move past the finger pointing and move on to healing.

On a more personal level, start taking more responsibility in your own life. Take ownership of the decisions you have made. For example, the decision to buy a house that you may not be able to afford, a car that is just a little beyond your means, or those Coach shoes that you really didn’t need. Taking responsibility frees your mind up to move forward instead of staying in the past and beating yourself up. Okay, we made a bad decision. We cannot change the past. How do we move forward?

It is time to start taking on more responsibility, at work, at home… And, who knows what that could lead to. Responsibility is a good thing. There is absolutely no shame in taking ownership of your actions and decisions. Once you do that, who knows what the universe might present you with. The possibilities are endless!