Fears for me show up in many ways, there is the classic, I am deathly afraid of heights. I have absolutely no idea where that one came from. It’s not like my mom dangled me out of windows when I was a child or anything. Because I had a pretty mellow childhood, I never really did any daredevil things like my husband did. He went camping, boating and jetskiing. Okay, so those are not daredevil things, but they are to me. The thought of even getting my hair wet, makes my head spin. Don’t get me wrong, I learned how to swim as a child, actually I swim like a fish. But for some reason, I do not like putting my face in water, especially lake water.

I can see fear creeping into my children as well. Fear is good to some degree. I mean, it does keep you safe at times. If there is a very steep cliff with no railing, there is probably a good reason for having a little fear around walking up to the edge. However, when my boys are afraid of going on jetski’s and there is no good apparent reason, I have to step in. I explain to them, it is just like driving. It is dangerous to drive, but you have to be smart, careful and pay lots of attention to your surroundings. I make them go out with me and I go real slow so they realize it really can be fun and there is no reason to fear it as long as you are careful and smart.

For me, my fear was going on the tube off the back of the boat. The thought of ending up in the water made me sick, but I knew it was possible without really getting wet. My oldest son, Derek was very nervous as well, but I gently encouraged him to get on the tube with me. All while trying not to show him my fear, because I knew it was not rational. I watched my sister-in-law take out my middle son, her daughter and my nephew without any incidences of anyone getting too wet. So, I thought I had it in the bag, right?

Grandpa showed me how to get on the tube without getting in the water. They let out the rope and then started to accelerate. (Mind you, my husband and brother-in-law are close by on the jetski’s watching all this go down.) The rope becomes tight and starts to pull us, but something is wrong, it is pulling us under the water! Water is splashing in my face, I am sputtering away trying to figure out why it doesn’t look like when Vinnie took the kids out. Next thing I know, I am going head first into the freezing cold lake water! My legs and arms are flailing. I come up and can barely breathe the water is so cold.

I have to admit, my first instinct was to call it. I just wanted to get out of the water and sit, wrapped up in my towel on the warm boat and sulk. But when I looked up, I saw that Derek was (thankfully) still on the tube and looking at me. I knew that if I gave up, it would make it easier for him to give up. I knew I had to set the example. So, much to my chagrin, I climbed back up on the tube and told grandpa Mike to go for it. This time I pulled up on the tube as he accelerated. ;0)

Now, I have officially conquered my fear of the lake water, Derek had a blast and overcame his fear and we will both be doing it again.

How are you conquering your fears? Or, are you? Who is watching you and following your lead? Think about it…you might decide it is time for you to set a good example for others and conquer your fears too.

Once I realized I was living a life that really wasn’t cut out for me, I went ahead and started my own business. Trust me, I know it is not nearly as simple as I have made it sound. It has been a long, tough road as an entrepreneur, but I have loved every minute of it. However, I have also realized that I have spent an enormous amount of my time as an entrepreneur listening to people that I really should not have been. I found myself in the same trap, just in a little different way.

As an entrepreneur, we are told we have to have coaches and consultants, and we should listen to people who are doing better than us. You will get advice like you would not believe. I spent the first few years of having my business doing what everyone else thought I should do, whether I liked the idea or not. This turned into me running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off. Once again, I was doing what I “should” do and I found most of the time I would end up chasing my tail.

Now, don’t get me wrong, having mentors and coaches is a good idea for everyone, whether you are in business for yourself or working for someone else. Just make sure you check with yourself before you change things too much. I have had mentors and coaches that have given me good advice and bad. I have followed both and had to redirect once I realized something was not working for me. That is how we learn and grow. One of the biggest lessons I have learned recently is to always do a gut check before I make any major decisions with regard to my life.

I am totally over blindly listening to someone. The most important asset I have in my reach is my heart and my intuition. Don’t just do what someone tells you to do because it has brought them success. Only do it if it feels right to you. We are not all climbing the same ladder to success, there are plenty of ladders for us all. Find the one that is right for you…

• Do a core value check – So often we get caught up doing what we are technically good at, we don’t take the time to see if it is in line with what we truly hold near and dear to our hearts.
• Be honest with yourself about what your core values are - It’s okay…some things that you may feel obligated to be on there, may not really be part of your core values.
• Limit yourself to your top 5 core values – Start with 10 and narrow down to your top 5. See how you feel once you have them out there.
• Build your life and your career around those values – If you are feeling totally out of balance, this may be your problem. If you are not holding true to your core values, start to take steps to move your life in that direction. It is amazing the difference you will feel.

There was so much more than that, but those are the heart of the experience. Now, based on that, this is how I have decided to change my life since I returned.

• Focus on me and my business – While I always thought I was taking my business seriously, the Universe certainly did not think so. Hence, I have changed my office hours to reflect how serious I am.
• Make my business my top priority – I will do this by stopping the distractions, prioritizing tasks and focusing my time accordingly. I also had a very serious heart to heart with my husband and each of my boys individually letting them know what is going on and how things would be changing.
• Step up and do what it takes, even if (especially if) it makes me uncomfortable
• Talk to my husband about “mommy guilt” - I know that may seem strange, but as a mom, I have to deal with it. But in order for me to be able to take care of my children the way I want to, I have to put my business at the top of my priority list right now.
• Feed my soul – This is an enormous work in progress for me. I have finally broken down and admitted I just do not know how to do it. I will keep you posted on what I discover.

There are many more steps, but I think you get the idea. Once you build your core values, you too can take the steps necessary to change your life.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I still have my pity party moments. I think everyone needs those now and again to stay sane. The difference is, when I am feeling that way, I stop and analyze what I am feeling and why. Let me share a little bit of my story with you.

When I was eleven years old, my father became gravely ill with cancer. It was certainly not an experience I would ever wish on anyone. In effect, I became an adult at eleven. When I could have taken the situation we were in and turned into another source of stress for my mom, I analyzed the situation and recognized the fact that my parents needed my help. Luckily my father survived after a very long battle and is alive and well today.

When we talk about that time as a family there are mixed emotions, there are times even today we wonder, “why us?” But, I have to admit, one of the things I have always said is, although it was not a pleasant time in our life, it made me who I am today. I honestly believe that I would not be where I am today without that experience. It made me strong. It made me tough. It made me a go getter. I never touched drugs because I saw firsthand the effect they had on my dad (with chemotherapy).

Honestly, I have no idea how my life would have turned out had I not had that experience, but I am thankful for it. Yes, you read right, thankful. Granted, I would not want to live through it again, but I have chosen to take the largest of obstacles in my life and turned it into a positive.

How can you do that? What is happening in your life that may seem like an obstacle now, but may end up being an opportunity for you to grow in the long run? I see it on almost a daily basis in my life. I might lose a client one day, but get another client a few days later that is a better fit. You might blow out a tire and meet an amazing business prospect at the repair shop. When I had to have surgery a couple of years ago, I took the down time as a sign that I needed to slow down altogether.

When life seems to be throwing you lemons, stop and examine them. Maybe there is an opportunity to make lemonade and heck, why not open a lemonade stand?!

The problem that I find I run into when I go to events like this is that I get completely overwhelmed. I figure I cannot be alone in this feeling. I have to admit, I get a little frustrated too. Is it bad that I am admitting that? I get frustrated because sometimes the presenters almost make “it” look easy, when we all know “it” is not.

What is “it”? Success…

I don’t know about you, but I have been busting my butt for the last fifteen years. And while, yes, relatively speaking I have done very well for myself, it has been a very long and hard road. Not only that, I find I always want more. And, being the overachiever that I am, I want it now (and I think we would all like it to be easy).

My latest shift began just over a year ago. I was doing very well with my tax practice. However, I wanted more. I really wanted to change people’s lives. Although taxes are “fun” and all, I really do not feel like I am “changing people’s lives”.

So, I have decided to add different lines of service that I feel can really make a change. But, it seems like I keep running into obstacles everywhere I go with these new ventures. Everywhere I turn, someone or something seems to knock me on my proverbial butt.

So, what is the difference between success and failure? I really hate to be cliché, but…NEVER GIVE UP!!!!! Trust me, there are times I feel like the whole world is against me. Sometimes I feel like there are things out of this world that are against me. I feel like someone or something is constantly giving me gut checks when it comes to my life and my business. But, you know what? I consider myself a huge success. Do you want to know why? Because no matter how hard I get hit, I shake my head, stand up, dust myself off and keep on keeping on.

As my mother used to say when I was a child, “Watch out world, Kristi is coming through!” Well, now I am saying it…loud and clear. When I look into the eyes of my husband, my children, my parents, my employee, and especially when I look into the mirror I know how much they are relying on me to pick myself up and keep going. That is what gives me the strength I need.

So, why am I sharing this with you? Because I am not alone. And while some people may not want to share their struggles, I know I am not the only one. People need to know there are more people out there in the same boat.

Go look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you are a huge success because you have and never will give up. You already are a huge success!

I am here to tell you that is no way to live! Ask yourself these questions: Is it really worth

• The money?
• The health benefits?
• The retirement?
• Your health?
• Your relationships?
• Your family?

So many people go through life living like a robot because they hate what they are doing. They stay there because of:

• The economy.
• I can’t get a better job.
• Better the devil you know, than the devil you don’t.
• The pay is good.
• The benefits are good.
• We just can’t afford a change right now.

But let me ask you this: Is this really how you want to live your life? Is it really worth sacrificing your happiness for money?

Maybe you need to make some modifications to your life. Think about sitting down with your spouse and seeing what changes can be made so you can be happy again. If you are unhappy, it affects more than just you. Who knows, maybe you can make a couple of adjustments to the budget and you can find a new line of work where you may make less money, but you will be happy. It is more important to be happy and conscious in your life, than to have a bunch of money and toys. This may be a harder choice, but if it makes you happy, isn’t it all worth it?

Remember, it is not always about the money! Your happiness is priceless…

I am starting today with introducing you to Marcia and telling you a little bit about her story and how she got started. Marcia worked for the Social Security Administration for 20 years. She was in charge of women’s issues and had to attend many women’s conferences due to her position.  Marcia loved her job, but noticed something enormous was missing from all the conferences she attended. They never seemed to have information regarding investing, wills and estates or even how to get started. This was an enormous hole the Marcia really wanted to fill.

So, seven years ago she decided to take early retirement from the Social Security Administration and she founded Money Wise Women Education Services. Marcia is not just about educating women, she is all about empowering women and helping them to start taking those steps. Marcia is also the author of “The Money Therapist: A Woman’s Guide to Creating A Healthy Financial Life”.

Over the next couple of weeks I will be sharing some wonderful advice Marcia shared with me during my interview with her. Again, I highly recommend her conference, so if you are interested, click on the link above and you will be taken to her web site for more information.

In my practice, procrastination has an enormous impact on my life. Mainly when other people have decided procrastination is the direction they should go. For example, when tax season rolls around and clients wait until April 10^th to get everything to me and then they do not want to file an extension. Is that really fair to me or my family? No!  That is why I have put procedures in place to stop that from happening.

Stop and think about how procrastination has affected your life? Do you procrastinate? When? Who does it affect? Do you wait until the last minute to pay your bills? Who does that hurt? What about your spouse, your children, your accountant, your babysitter? Does your procrastination affect them? Is that really fair?

Stop procrastinating! When you start to feel the urge, recognize it and stop the process. Why put off until tomorrow when you can do it today?

I know you are probably saying to yourself I am thankful for what I have, but then you find yourself doing the same thing.  Stop for a minute and think about what you are thankful for right now.  Is it:

• The fact you were able to pay all your bills and not take any money out of the savings account or put anything on the credit card this month?
• Your car started this morning and got you where you needed to be on time?
• Your little one said their first word?
• Your spouse kissed you goodbye before they left for the day?
• You have a job?
• The fact you are an entrepreneur for one more day?

I am not telling you to stop thinking big.  I feel you should absolutely “think big”.  However, be thankful for what you currently have.  Someday you will have all the finer things in life if you put your mind to it, but don’t lose yourself in it.

I went to the eWomenNetwork International Conference and Business Expo this last weekend.  While I was inspired by all the wonderful speakers and brilliant women I was surrounded by, I also found myself overwhelmed with the thought of what I needed to accomplish.  This is when I had my “aha” moment and realized if I slowed down and was thankful for what I have right now, everything else will magically start to fall into place.

Let’s give a mention to all the fantastic things you can do with money:

• It makes you feel good when you have lots of it.
• You can buy lots of cool stuff with it.
• People respect you more if you have it.
• You feel successful if you have plenty of it around.
• It gives you the ultimate freedom.

Who wouldn’t want lots of money around with all those great benefits?  So, let me just make it abundantly clear here, I am not saying money is bad in any way.  I want people to stop running their lives with it. 

Does money run your life?

Ask yourself these questions:

• Does every decision you make revolve around money?
• Do you make decisions that you know in your heart are not right, but financially they “make sense”?
• Have you stayed at a job, just for the money?
• Have you stayed in a bad relationship, just for the financial security?

I know money has run my life for most, if not all, of it.  I spent my entire childhood swinging on a financial pendulum (at no fault of my parents, just life circumstances), holding on for dear life. 

Unfortunately, once I had a little more control of my own finances, I went ahead and built my own pendulum and jumped on (what seemed to be) willingly. 

Recently, I have been experiencing a personal and professional awakening.  Through this experience, I have started to notice all of my decisions are based around money.  I have been making decisions that I knew were not right for me or my family…just because we “needed” the money.  Well, I have put a stop to that. 

One day I was trying to make a very important decision.  I was torn between what my heart knew was right, and what made financial sense.  I did not know what to do. 

As I was sitting quietly with myself, trying to figure everything out, I heard my father’s voice in the back of my head. “Take money out of the equation.  Then make your decision.”  Once I did that, my decision was as clear as day.  I was a little nervous, but I knew my heart would not steer me wrong. 

I can honestly say, that is how I try to make all my decisions now.  If I am really struggling with what is right, I stop and see if money is the largest factor.  If it is, I take it out of the equation and follow my heart.  Life is much easier that way.