In this economy, I have found that the littlest things can make a big difference. They are:

Did you know that money is the number one cause for divorce!? I read that the other day and was shocked, but oddly not surprised. Some people say that money is the root of all evil and I counter with “only if you let it be”. In these times of financial crisis, it is important to pull together when it comes to money. Here are some practical steps to help you do that.

Set up a time to discuss finances with your spouse. The last time you want to discuss finances is when you are in a heated argument. A neutral time and place work best.

Have all of your paperwork at hand. You want to pull together bank statements, credit card statements, even your credit reports. This way you have all the pertinent information in front of you to have an intelligent conversation.

Prepare to put a plan together. Just discussing your situation with your spouse will not move you forward. Come to the table with solutions at hand. Be specific about how much you need to save, etc.
Compromise. Marriage is all about compromise. Don’t go into this with the intention of attacking the other person. Discuss areas you can both work on.

Set up “progress” meetings. You will want to set up follow up meetings to check your progress. They can be weekly or monthly. It is very encouraging to see yourselves taking steps and making progress in the right direction…together.

Don’t just make this meeting about money, make it personal. Bring your hopes, dreams and goals to the table to share with your spouse. This way, you can learn about and with each other. Talk about how money was handled in your home as a child. This can be important insight on both sides.

My husband and I did this a few months ago and it was an eye opening experience for both of us. Because of what I do for a living, I was always the one that paid the bills and handled all the money. This created stress on both sides, I was overwhelmed and he felt like he was in the dark. Now, we have a weekly meeting to pay the bills together. He is taking an active role in our financial lives and I don’t feel like I am carrying the burden on my shoulders alone. It has worked out great!

In that same initial meeting we set up some strict guidelines about how we wanted to handle money going forward. For example, no more credit card use…period. Or, we would like to save 10% of our income every month. People laugh at me when I tell them this, but we both signed and dated it. To us, it is an official legal document. Should we ever start to argue about money, we can pull out that piece of paper and refer back to it. What a nice foundation to have to refer back to when circumstances present themselves.