Last week I was at a networking event and I saw something that literally floored me. They have a raffle at the end of the event where if your card is picked, you can come up and select a gift that one of the attendees has provided. Some examples are books they have written or tickets to a workshop. That is when it was heald up. I believe it was a book, or something to that effect. I just remember reading the words, “It’s Not Your Fault”. The woman who had brought it talked about how it shares with people how your weight is not your fault. How we all have different genetic makeups and that is what determines our weight.

WHAT?! Did you really just say that?

Okay, I understand (to some degree) that there are outside forces that impact our lives, I get that. I understand that some people have a genetic makeup that predisposes them to being overweight or thin. But, to make a blanket statement like that just completely upset me. Take the financial world for example. There are a lot of people out there in financial ruin blaming everyone but themselves for what has happened to them.

News flash: The blame game is not going to get anyone anywhere!

People, please stop blaming everyone else for your situation. When something tragic happens in your life like a foreclosure or a bankruptcy, don’t point your finger at anyone but yourself. Not to blame yourself, but to look inside and try to figure out what happened. See what you can learn from your mistakes and others and move forward with the intention that it will not happen again.

Trust me, I have made my fair share of bad decisions and mistakes in my life. There were times that I resisted owning the situation, but as I matured I realized the impact taking responsibility for my actions can have. It really is a very liberating experience. There were also times when it was completely out of my hands. At that point, we have to take responsibility for how we react to the situation. If we cannot take responsibility for our own actions, how can we move forward and grow as a person?

I know, everyone always says how we should be thankful for what we have. Unfortunately, in our society we tend to focus only on the negative (the media sure does not help with this). It might be a generational thing, it might be the media, or it might be in you. I think a lot of the parents of my generation are used to focusing on the negative. If you think about it, my grandparents grew up in the heart of the depression. That scarcity mentality was then passed on to my parents generation, which in turn was passed on to my generation.

Well, I don’t know about you, but I certainly do not want to pass this on to my children. Growing up I naturally focused on the negative that was happening in my life. However, when I look back at my childhood, I would always say things, like, “I wouldn’t want to live through it again, but it made me who I am today.” When you think about it, there was a little spark inside of me that knew I should focus on the positive that came out of any negative. Then, in 2006 I saw the movie, “The Secret”. That movie changed the lives of millions out there, including mine.

I have to admit, I don’t necessarily agree with everything in the movie, but it made me realize I had that spark inside of me. The last couple years have been difficult for just about everyone out there. Financially, this country is in a crisis. People are losing everything that they own. Last week I had the pleasure of seeing Yo Pal Hal Elrod speak at the South Placer Chapter of eWomenNetwork. Hal has written the book “Taking Life Head On”. It is all about how he was hit head on by a drunk driver on Highway 99 when he was 20 years old. He was actually dead for six minutes on the side of the road. But, he survived and he shared his story about how he decided to turn such a tragedy into something positive.

What an inspiration! Last week, I started to take stock of all the wonderful blessings I have in my life. Yes, things have been hard with the economy lately, but what if we stopped and looked at the lessons we were learning instead of all the negative things going on around us? Some people are addicted to watching the news. I used to be addicted to the news, but then I realized how depressed I was after watching it. Some people may think I choose to bury my head in the sand. That is fine, they can think that, but I know I am cautious about what I choose to let into my space.

Be careful with your thoughts. Be careful with what you let into your space. Start to be conscious about who and what you let into your world. Start focusing your energy on what you do have in this world. Be thankful for those beautiful children you have. Be thankful for the job you do have and the money that is coming in, no matter how much or how little it is.

Change your attitude, change your world.

As parents, we naturally have dreams for our children. That is part of being a parent. However, I am finding these days that too many parents are a little obsessive about their dreams for their children.

As many of you know, I have three boys, Derek is 8 years old, Nathan is 6 years old and Shawn is 4 years old. Derek has been in sports for almost three years now and Nathan has been in for a full year. We have experienced Soccer, Baseball and Football. I absolutely love sports for my boys. It keeps them active, it teaches them discipline, it helps them focus, just to name a few of the benefits. But, the number one reason my boys are there is because they want to and they themselves are extremely passionate about it.

Unfortunately there is a dark side to children’s sports. Any of you out there that have children in sports knows exactly what I am talking about. There are always those parents that take it to a whole new level. Last night I witnessed a mother trying to carry (physically forcing) her young son of six out onto the practice football field. After several minutes of this, the head coach went over and talked to them. This is not something that should be happening people! That little boy should not be on that field if he does not want to be, especially with football.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a no nonsense mom that does not take garbage from my children. I remember sending my 3 year old to swim lessons at the local pool crying and letting them work it out the first couple of sessions. I have also witnessed children crying at the first practice of baseball or soccer because they did not want to be there. I have seen some of those children quit and I have seen some completely turn things around and love the sport once they give it a chance. But, I have never seen someone physically try to drag their child on the field and force them to play.

Football is an extremely demanding sport and conditioning is certainly no picnic in the park. The thought of that poor boy being forced to go through something that grueling in 90 degree heat without even wanting to be there really breaks my heart.

The other thing I see out there is when the parent feels the need to force themselves on the coaches and the referrees/umpires. When, they are sitting and talking strategy at the first meeting when it is seven year olds playing soccer. When they are screaming at their children from the sidelines and completely humiliating them in front of their teammates. Childhood sports are supposed to be fun and educational for the children. Yes, they definitely get more competitive as they get older. But as a parent, aren’t we supposed to be there to encourage them and support them so they can develop the skills they will use the rest of their life in the real world and let the coaches take care of the discipline and coaching on the field?

I just felt like I had to say something for the little guys out there on the field giving it their all. You and I both know it means the world to them to be out there on that field. We both know all they want to do is play their heart out and make you and their coaches happy and proud. How about we change our way of thinking and let them play the game while we cheer them on from the sidelines?

Natural beauty is all around

Almost everywhere you look

Time to let all the stresses of my life go

Under these beautiful tree’s

Relax and let the sun melt away my problems

Easy as can be

Safe from all the worries that have plagued me

Fast and furious they go

Under Mother Nature’s care

Replaced with peace and serenity

You’ll never know it was there

Passion…Do you have it in your life? What is passion to you? Do you want more of it in your life? Are you wondering how you would go about doing that?

Passion is a funny thing that people seem to misunderstand. So many people go through life without keeping it in the forefront of their reality. They may experience it for a fleeting moment, but they let it go and are okay with letting it slip through their fingers.

Think about it, do you remember when you met your current love interest (spouse, girl/boyfriend)? The fire that lit inside of you every time you saw them, the feeling you had when your hands touched…I am sure that life has taken away at least some of that emotion and fire. Life tends to do that. People tend to live their life unconciously. They just go through the motions, with their spouse, with their children, with their careers. Ask yourself this question…Are you really living the life you want to live or are you just going through the motions because it is what you “should” be doing? What would happen if you infused a little passion into your life?

Take my five year old son, Nathan, for example. He is a little bundle of energy (as most five year old boys are). Sometimes he is a little hard to handle with all that energy pent up inside of him. However, we have started baseball with him this year. He LOVES baseball! He has been watching his brother play for two years now and he has been chomping at the bit to get out there himself. Now, it is his turn. It is like something clicked and the fire ignited inside of him. Most five year olds have a very difficult time focusing out there on the field. However, Nathan has had the fire of passion ignited inside of him. He is like an animal out there! I have never seen him so focused and he always seems to know exactly what to do. All of his skill sets are being used to the best of their capacity and he is completely in his element. It blew me away to see this transformation.

What about your life? What would happen if you ignited the fire of passion? In your relationships? In your career? In your dreams? Do you feel lost and like a little bundle of energy that doesn’t know what to do or where to go? What if you took some time to figure out what your passion was and started to focus some of your energy there. How would your life change?

Think about it…

Reaching the finish line, is there a better feeling? I have described tax season to many people like running a marathon at a sprint.

• You get winded early, but your body and mind adjust.
• You have to focus to succeed.
• Sometimes you may trip, but you have to pick yourself up and carry on.
• You can’t stop…too many people are counting on you.
• After it is all over, you feel like you are on top of the world.

In years past, I had a very difficult time reaching the finish line. I was miserable during tax season because of how it affected me, my family and it seemed like all aspects of my life. This year, I actually enjoyed tax season. I took my favorite parts (meeting with clients and putting the pieces of the tax return puzzle together) and focused on that. I was thankful for every client I had this year and every chance I had to learn a new lesson and grow my mind and practice. Part of me is actually sad to see tax season go!

What do you have in your life that you can reframe your perception on? What is going on in your life that you can shift the focus and find the silver lining in the clouds? Rather than having that picture of a boxer in the ring being sucker punched, picture yourself as that marathon runner breaking the tape at the finish line. It’s amazing what a little shift in attitude can do.

My mom has never been bashful about what a challenge I was to raise. I was stubborn, strongwilled, in your face and I never stopped talking. As I mentioned above, I was not a bad child. I never acted out maliciously, I was just a challenge to raise with such high spirits. The funny thing is, a few years ago I saw a report on one of those news magazines that having a child like that is actually very good when they become adults. In my case it was very true, all of those traits have definitely worked in my favor. I like to think I am quite a successful woman in many different areas of my life and what was once a challenge for my mom to deal with has turned out to be some of the main reasons I am successful.

However, I am now the mother of three boys that all have some degree of those traits, plus some of my husbands. My youngest, Shawn, has always been the most like me in almost every way. This weekend proved it. I have to give you a little warning…this is for all the parents out there! This story is a little gross, but absolutely hilarious. Many of you will be able to relate.

With all three of my boys, we have taken them out of the crib and put them in a toddler bed at 15 months old. We make sure the entire bedroom is child proof and put a lock on the door so they cannot get out of their room and fall down the stairs or get into any other trouble. We make sure they have plenty of books to read and toys to play with. We do this until they are ready to come out at night and go potty, about three or four years old. It has worked very well for the older two boys who are now five and seven. So, we followed suit with Shawn our three year old.

This past week we took the lock off of his door because he is ready to get rid of the Pullup at night. He has been potty trained during the day for over a year now and his bladder is about ready to go without Pullups at night. Well, he is still three, so he kept coming out of his room at insane hours and playing and making noise…enough to wake up his brothers. On Friday of last week I had had it. I had Matt put the lock back on his door. We talked to Shawn about why and said when he showed us he was ready again we would take the lock back off and try again. I showed him….right? Mama’s got this all under control…Or not.

Fast forward to Sunday morning, I walked into Shawn’s room for a second and thought I smelled something. Didn’t think much of it at the time. When I walked back in there, Matt was helping Shawn pick his clothes for the day. I started sniffing…I could smell something and it was not pleasant. Matt couldn’t smell anything because “his sniffer is broken”. I say to Matt, “Do you smell that? It smells like poop in here.” He doesn’t smell anything. I start sniffing around the room and asking Shawn if he had pooped in his room. I look over at him and his eyes are as big as saucers and he says, “NO”. There was an Elmo chair knocked over and I kick it out of the way…I am on a mission now. Something smells like poop in this room and I am going to find it.

As I am sniffing around Matt and I are grilling Shawn and he is assuring us that he did not do anything. All the while I can tell by his little face he did. Finally, I stop, look at Matt and say, “There is a steaming pile of poop in here somewhere. We just have to find it.” Finally Shawn starts fumbling over his words saying, “I had to go potty and I couldn’t get out!” We gently ask him where it is and he walks over and moves his big 4X4 Jeep which was sitting over it. Yes, he had pooped on his carpet.

Matt and I started laughing so hard! Matt composed himself quite quickly and started telling Shawn that was not a good idea and got to cleaning up the mess. I, however, had to leave the room. I was hysterically laughing. I walked out of the room and into my bedroom and closed the door. I picked up the phone and called my mom. I was laughing so hard she could barely understand a word I said. The first words I spoke were, “There is no denying Shawn is my son!” I proceeded to tell her the story through laughter and tears. I had to repeat myself several times because I think only dogs could understand me with my shrieks of laughter.

Now, I want to make something very clear. I would have never done what Shawn did. However, the reason I saw that mirror clear as day was because of his gumption. I have always been the type that if someone thought they had shown me, I would turn around and show them.

Believe it or not, there is a very important lesson Shawn taught me that day other than the fact that laughing that hard is a good workout. People are going to knock you down. You may want something really bad and someone is going to tell you you are not ready or you can’t handle that yet. You have to pick yourself up and prove them wrong. I am not sure Shawn went the best route at doing that, but I will tell you, we are not locking the door any more and he has been much better about coming out when he is not supposed to. Don’t let people stifle your dreams. When someone tries to block you, figure out another way around it. You have to be persistent. If there is no way around them, find a way to persuade them to your side. You would be amazed at what you can do if you just try.

Thank you Shawn for that wonderful lesson. You are such an amazing teacher at three years old.

I believe it was September when I actually realized my mojo was missing. I was having dinner with some girlfriends and we started discussing it. I started thinking about myself back in high school and college. I just presented myself different. According to my husband, I walked with a strut (he later explained it to be that I walked with a purpose). In other words, I am going somewhere, move out of my way. I was never malicious or mean to anyone, that is just not my style. But, I knew what I was doing, where I was going and no one had better get in my way or I would let them know about it. It definitely got me in some hot water when I was younger, because insecure people would try to bring me down. But, I never wavered. My method of operation was to feel the sting, cry (just a little bit) and then get really ticked off. That was when I would turn into a bulldozer. It was like, “Oh, you don’t think I can do this? Well, let me show you how wrong you are!” I did it in college with difficult professors, I did it at the beginning of my career with difficult Seniors and Managers. I LOVED proving them wrong.

Then, I had my first son and I was thrown into a tailspin. Anyone that has ever had children knows the tailspin I am talking about. Suddenly, I don’t have complete control anymore, I can’t just “prove him wrong” to make myself feel better. Things weren’t nearly as cut and dry. Also, finances became much more complicated. Budgeting was more difficult, there was a lot more to think about. And, to top it all off, I had this little man completely depending on me. Wow, that will rock your world. Now, I don’t want to completely bore you with all the things that have beaten me down over the last eight years, but I am sure you understand. Life has taken my mojo away. It is still there, somewhere, it is just hiding from me.

I can see now, the consequences have been significant. I feel like I have become this totally wimpy victim. With that, comes blaming others for my situation. Whether it is dealing with the down economy or dealing with difficult clients. I haven’t had the same fire lit up under me. Well, that has all changed. Whenever I feel my shoulders slump, I immediately put them back. Every time I start to see that wimpy Kristi come back, I immediately think of that feisty girl I used to be. I am slowly, but surely, bringing her back. There is no longer a victim here. I own it! I know who I am and what I am here to do. Okay Universe, watch out, Kristi’s got her mojo back!

Dictionary.com defines focus as “a central point, as of attraction, attention, or activity.” I love this word because it is my new best friend. I have always been one that was focused. For goodness sake, I made the decision to do accounting when I was fifteen. From what I understand, not many teenagers do that, and stick with it. The fact of the matter is, I love numbers. I have always loved numbers…they speak to me. And, honestly, they speak to me now more than ever.

When you are in school, your life is mapped out for you. When you finish first grade, you go to second and so on. After you graduate from high school, there are some variations, but overall, your life is still pretty mapped out for you if you go the college route. Once you make your decision about your major, they give you a list of classes and prerequisites and guide you through the maze.

In my field of accounting, again, there are variations, but overall your life is still mapped out for you depending on your goals. Mine was to get licensed as a Certified Public Accountant, so I followed that route.

But, then I had children. My focus was taken so far off course, it has taken me almost eight years to get back in focus. The good news is, I figured out this morning that this  mama is focused again! I know what I want and I don’t plan on letting anything get in my way.

Focus is such an amazing gift. While you may have life’s challenges take you off course, focus is what helps you get back on track. For years I really was not sure what I wanted. I had these three absolutely perfect little boys. I was so worried I was not spending enough time with them or being a good enough mom. I wanted clients, but I wanted to spend time with my boys. I wanted more money, but I didn’t want to work too much.

Now, I understand that the best gift I can give my boys is a happy and successful mom. With that decision made, I have been able to focus on my business more than ever while still being the best mom I can be. I have the Black Eyed Peas song “Let’s Get it Started” running through my head because even though I have had my business for over five years, I almost feel like I am just now really lifting off.

I am so excited because I feel like I have just given birth to my fourth baby. I cannot wait to see what this year has in store for me now with my new found focus.